Digging In
Artwork By Alan Ribeiro
What to write when there is nothing specific to write but everything bursting to come out at the same time. The overthinking of what to share, what to not share, where to share, how to share, when to share…paralyzed into quietness.
But there is so much: How God is working. How God is reshaping. How God is breaking us down and rebuilding. How God is challenging and making himself known to our kids and their families. How the world is hurting and the ugliness that is overwhelming and threatening to swallow this world whole.
But we see the glimpses, the glimmer, the good. God is writing the redemption story at these very same moments. In spite of. Because of.
But now I sit in the balance of being a story keeper vs. a storyteller. The line seems extra hard to distinguish for me lately. We see so much, we hear so much. Most of our role is just witnessing, being present, and bringing the hope of Jesus to the room. We hold these people and these stories with a sacredness as many times it’s not our story to tell.
Other times the progress in this work is slow, sometimes it’s tiny. Sometimes it seems things go backwards or even digressing. But it’s all a testament to God working in ways we don’t always know, or can’t always wrap up in words, or a continuing story we are only a small part of. But we dig in and continue with showing up, praying for Him to meet these kids and families in ways they can feel and understand. We dig in when it feels exhausting, like we are treading water, or feel like an outsider. We dig in because we know the end goal and it’s beyond us.
“He’s where the joy is" was a nugget from an author in a recent coaching session. The joy isn’t inside us, not in our circumstances, not when we try extra hard to find it. Not when we don’t mess up. Not when things get better. Not when we get all the credit. It’s in the Lord. It’s steady. It’s constant. Now there are ways to increase how we notice or practice seeing the joy and having gratitude but how often do we think, if only X, then I will be Y?
But the reality is we are broken. The world is fallen. We need redemption and we can only find that with the Lord. And even then it’s not until Jesus returns and restores the earth that will everything be back to order. We can search forever for that thing, that person, the career, the calling that will bring us peace and purpose…but only the Lord can bring this. AND we are still human and still live in this world. There will be tension and there will be hurt. There will be struggling. And that is something not easy to grasp or swallow to be honest. But how cool is it that despite our circumstances, despite our mess ups, despite all the horrible and awful things…there is still joy and hope? This doesn’t mean we skip over the hurt or diminish it. We need to sit with it, feel it, acknowledge it. We get to help hold the stories of people when it’s too much for them to hold alone.
