Snippets From Brazil
Little snippets of progress and growth of living in this place sometimes catch me off guard. It’s never as big or grand as I hope, and certainly not in the quick timeline I prefer. And sometimes it helps to jot them down…so on those hard days, you can remember just how far you’ve come.
Usually the moments are recounted to someone newer here or green to the expat life…and I realize I have worked past a fear or a challenge, almost without noticing anymore. The relationship with the gas stove and tank attached to it for example, not a fan. But early on my need for coffee surpassed my fear of using it. (Don’t be fooled though I still won’t light one with a lighter or match.) I only flinch sometimes when squeezed between buses, semis with flammable loads, and motos passing through any free space (but usually as the passenger, not the driver…cuz let’s not get crazy).
I crave rice and beans more than sandwiches now. I am usually colder than most Brazilians during winter here—for better, for worse. We have our favorite restaurants and stores, but we still love to explore new locations. I’ve grown more plants than I have killed now. We make our own homemade fruit juices (okay Chris does) and reach for local brands and herbs.
I’m proud of how much ground, how much culture, how much diversity we have covered in our relatively short time here, in such a massive country. The sunsets we’ve seen, the German towns we’ve visited, and the flowers we marvel over. But it’s still such a small perspective of a place so big, a place with so much history, a place with so much biodiversity and animal and plant life (Nerd out here with some quick facts, it’s fascinating…. https://organicbrasil.org/brasil-biomes/)
Little wins include: Language—-I can easily ask where things are (And understand the answer). I will also never starve to death as my food vocabulary is at the top of the list. I can make an appointment (thank you Lord for WhatsApp!). Hugs— I more often than not can embrace the “welcome hug” with newcomers, just still struggling with the side kiss and making it not awkward. But if I see you every day… you probably know where I fall with these now : ) Directions— I feel pretty confident in knowing the lay of the land MOST of the time. I can usually tell which neighborhood we are in or at least general section of city.
Where the Lord is refining me daily: Smells—Mold, Smoke, Perfume… these things are hard for me, really hard. If I can keep it out of my living space, I call that a win. If I can keep it off and out of my things… even better. I have become a master at scent removal— but still have shed some tears over things that needed to be chucked or retired in record time. Schedules— I like a schedule. I like it even more if it’s followed. Efficiency isn’t usually a thing here. Some things are systematic like the red-tape or sheer amount of people, and some are cultural- like relationship is valued over time. Communication—with language learning, brain space, and multiple cultures working together… this gets messy quickly. I normally pride myself on my A+ communication skills…but they get a run for their money in this gig, even in English.
The idea of lament goes hand in hand with the last list…and was something new to me until we were here. We’ve mentioned this some here and there, but it is something that I’ve identified with so much on this journey. Really it’s what the book of Psalms displays so much of. We were offered so many good intentioned positive Christian outlooks and what I would call “Bumper Sticker Sayings” when things were tough at the get-go. But this sometimes dismisses the heart of the challenges, the wrestling with things, the uncomfortableness, and wasn’t meaning we were questioning God’s goodness or calling.
One definition of lament from Bible Hub: “The biblical concept of lament involves not only the honest voicing of pain but also a turning toward God with trust, even in the midst of suffering.
Unlike mere complaint, lament specifically addresses God, acknowledging His sovereignty. It is a process by which the faithful openly share their distress with the Lord, appealing to His promises and character, while remaining under His covenant care.”
An amazing expat author has written liturgies for the expat, and they were such a breath of fresh air to me. You can find her here at Liturgies for a Life Abroad .They weren’t just healing to read, but to understand that this form of thinking, processing, and voicing of pain (mental or physical) was actually Biblical was such a comfort and something that has grown my connection to the Lord even stronger.
Where have you been successful and grown, even if just a little bit?
Where is the Lord refining you this season?
